A couple of weeks ago, my fiancee and I went to a basketball game at the Oracle Coliseum. Seeing as we were not rooting for the home team, we felt the need to keep our cheers to ourselves. This created a voyeuristic sort of experience. To make sure I wasn't being disrespectful, I found I was watching myself from other people's perspective. Because of this, I also ended up watching people. To my left was a sweet family: mom, dad, brother, sister. The young girl was 3, 4 years old at most. She was sitting on her dad's lap. Sweet right?
Okay, I know this probably isn't cool, but I couldn't help myself. I totally spied on the conversation this dad was having with his little girl.
I was horrified.
He was talking to his daughter, not about the game, not about the sport, but about the cheerleaders. He was saying to her, "Maybe someday you'll be a cheerleader." He was holding her hands and making her clap them like the scantily clad women down below.
He continued, "They are so hot. Don't you want to be hot like them?" I was horrified.
First of all, the cheerleaders at sports events generally disgust me. Their moves and the way men ogle them, aren't exactly family friendly. Second of all, imagining this young, impressionable girl encouraged to do those moves was not just sleazy, but distressing.
Worst of all, was this father, in front of his partner, encouraging his young daughter to become a cheerleader. Why should she question what her father encourages her to do? As a 3 or 4 year old, she just accepts it as true.
Talk about constructivism. It was so clear to me how this little girl was being taught how to be a woman.
Hi Gal,
ReplyDeleteYou have a nice start for your blog. I like the story that you are given above. I think you are right the daughter was not ask her father because she was too young to distinguish the different between the male leader and woman leader. But I think this father is a great example for other men. I think here in this story he tries to say that not only men can be a leader, women can also be one of them if they want to. There is nothing that women cannot do.. Same to writing and reading. As we have finish our class, I see that there were so many about these women writers that interested me. They are just amazing.
The father in this story is referring to the cheerleaders as being "hot" which translates to lustful, or sexually attractive, adjectives that have nothing to do with leadership. Unfortunately this father is not teaching his little girl to be a woman, but an object of entertainment and pleasure.
ReplyDeleteIck! I'm disgusted. Of all things I'd want for my daughter I don't think I'd ever utter the word "hot". Do you think if he used words like Beautiful, Talented, or Fit it would have been better? Hot is an objectifying adjective in this context most certainly.
ReplyDeletethis may sound naive in our over-sexed culture, but as a man and a sports fan, i find the dancers/cheerleaders at sporting events seem like a relic of an earlier time. over the last 10 years, there have been all kinds of reports about how many more women are following sports, particularly the NBA and NFL, and how the leagues are trying to welcome/reach out to them.
ReplyDeletesupposedly, cheerleaders evolved to entertain male fans during timeouts or at halftime. well, if you've ever been to a game these days, there are so may games to follow, free T-shirts to catch, or other antics, that there is never a lull anymore. plus, the stands are filled with many more women. when the scantily clad dancers come out, it feels weird to me. like a trailer for an R-rated movie coming on TV while you're babysitting your 5-year old niece. of course, what this really means is that sex still sells and despite all the efforts of leagues to reach out to female fans, there is an underlying bottom line "need" to keep the misogynistic stuff.
lastly, i'm curious what you think, cassie, of angela's question about word choice. what would you think if he had used the words "beautiful" etc.?
Yes, my reaction had a lot to do with his word choice. A LOT. But I think that words are more than words. His language was indicative of a larger attitude. If he was using words that we're empowering, he probably would've also taken the time to say things like, "Honey you could also be a player if you wanted you know". He chose those words because they betrayed his attitude toward women. You can't just change a couple words without changing the attitude.
ReplyDeleteugh. not pleasant. It's amazing how important our word choice is. Reminds me of "The Four Agreements": Be impeccable with your word.
ReplyDeleteUm WOAH. WHAT?! For reals?! Okay, let me pick up jaw... this is disgraceful. Now, if your daughter likes gymnastics, is out going, enjoys cheering for football... sure, encourage her. But "aren't they hot?!" woah. Dad, lets have a little chat.
ReplyDelete